September 10.  Always has been just another day for me.  I probably heard in the past this was World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD), but I paid no mind to this.  September 10, 2019 is different.  It wasn’t until after lunch I learned it was WSPD.  But I had been thinking of suicide all day (not committing suicide, but a tragic memory of suicide).  You see, I have been thinking of a tragic suicide since May 29, 2019 – the day my husband of 36 years took his life.

We saw the signs.  Many family members weren’t surprised and were expecting this call.  This man was stubborn and prideful.  He insisted he was fine, did not need help, did not need to speak to anyone.  He truly needed help.  Thanks to what he did, now the whole darn family needs therapy.

My therapist suggested I write an essay, poem, or whatever, that starts with “I keep thinking one of these days….”

I cannot help but think had my husband written his thoughts on hope, he may have reconsidered his actions of 5/29/19.  He obviously lost all hope that day.  When you have no hope, you have no future.  He had no future after 4:30 5/29/19. He altered his family’s future.

If you feel you are losing hope, please write yourself a message of hope.  Here is mine:

I keep thinking one of these days turmoil will cease.  I may begin to live in comfort and emotional peace.

Life will be good, life will be fair, and I won’t live with frizzing hair.

I keep thinking one of these days I will retire, having fun running my Avon business, growing my team – and – oh yeah – full time gardening – I will be living the dream.

Life will be good, life will be clean and people won’t be so crazy mean.

I keep thinking one of these days I will be like a hippy, living off of my land at Spooky Hollow Southern Mississippi.

Life will be good, life will be elemental, and there won’t be any disabilities, like physical or mental.

I keep thinking one of these days I will have my very own cottage industry, containing herbs, micro-greens and the occasional honey bee.

Life will be good, life will be easy.  Every single day would be relaxing and breezy.

I keep thinking of these days at life I will win, my house will be organized and clean, and I will be thin.

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My prayers go out to all who have had a loved one commit suicide.

(Just a note to my U.S. readers – I am finding healing in giving back.  My side job – my Avon business – is helping me do that.  My daughter, and youth minister son-in-law, have a personal ministry of reaching out to college students in their home on Monday nights.  They break bread, play games and speak the gospel.  I am tithing my online order proceeds to their ministry.  Every little bit helps.  Would you please check out my website?  If this is your first time ordering Avon online, use code WELCOME10 for 10% off any size order.  Your products will be delivered directly to your door.  Some of the college students are foreign exchange students.  From a hand built table in southern Mississippi, the gospel is managing to be spread around the world.  Would you shop from my online store and have a part in spreading God’s word?)

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