I Haven’t Taken a Bath Since 2014

Yes, I figured that title would grab you.  Yes, it is true – since October 2014 to be specific.  A sit down bath that is.  I have not taken a sit down bath since my bi-lateral total knee replacement in October 2014 – 33 months!  Most of my fellow knee-warriors know this experience.  The fear is real people!

We have a very small tub here at Spooky Hollow Southern MS.  The shower portion is handicap accessible (done by my husband to take care of his klutzy wife), but the tub portion is not.  The only way for me to get out has been to kneel and slither out like a snake.  Well ouchy – I cannot kneel on my metal knees because that still hurts!  The fear is real people!

Oh how I wanted a bath.  Things have been rather stressful here at Spooky Hollow and I wanted to soak.  While a shower is cleaner, a good, long soak in hot water can do wonders for the mind, the headaches and the blood pressure.

AND, being the Avon lady, I have a bevy of bubble bath scents at my disposal (Endless Ocean, Cherry Blossom, Vanilla Cream, Cucumber & Melon, Lily & Honeysuckle – to name a few).  I stock up on these for so many uses besides in the tub.  However, this is a favorite of my grandchildren – and thank you Lord for that.  Did you know as the Avon bubble bath is cleaning your kids, it is cleaning your tub also?  Yes – so true!  No ring around the tub.  You get a twofer – clean kids – clean tub.

I keep multiple scents for multiple uses.  See a small compilation below:

  1. Use to wash down the tub surround, shower walls and doors (Mix baking soda, Avon Bubble Bath & vinegar).
  2. Leaves bathroom fixtures shining.
  3. Cleans the vanity top, cabinets, any surfaces, even your walls.
  4. Can replace your body wash.
  5. Good refill for liquid soap, it’s mild on hands – THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES!
  6. Helps reduce toilet bowl build up. Place 1 cap full in the tank every week.
  7. Can be used to hand wash dishes in the sink. DO NOT use in a dishwasher.
  8. Clean the fridge inside and out. It will help remove odors.
  9. Use as a laundry detergent and you no longer need a fabric softener. 1 cap full is all that’s needed to do a great job and to remove stains.
  10. Great for hand-washing delicate items. Miserly substitute for Woolite.  I like the Sensitive Skin Bubble Bath for this.
  11. Pre-treat stained items. Just dab the stain with bubble bath and let sit 10 minutes. Then wash as normal.
  12. Will clean your jewelry.
  13. Use to clean your eyeglasses.
  14. Add to the children’s wading pool to keep the pool clean.
  15. Add to cleaning water for cars, campers or trailers. (interior and exterior surfaces)
  16. Use to test tires, blow up pools or gas lines for leaks.
  17. Use as Snail Repellent  in the garden – mix equal parts water and bubble bath and spray on flowers. Do not spray directly on edible plants, spray soil around base.

BUT now I wanted to use my bubble bath for a relaxing soak, specifically the Lavender Garden.  DANG IT!  What’s a girl to do?  Well since I didn’t have a hoist readily available in my bathroom, I used the next best thing – my cell phone.  Yes, I brought my cell phone into the bathroom, just in case I got stuck.  What?  I needed a plan of attack to take the plunge – literally.

As advertised on my Avon website (YourAvon.com/ghegwood):

Bring the spa treatment home with the Lavender Garden Bubble Bath. Soak yourself in bliss and soothe your senses with the fresh aromas of lavender and chamomile. This relaxing bubble bath is great for daily use and its long-lasting bubbles stay the duration of your soak. Comes in 24 fl. oz. bottle.

BENEFITS
• Relaxing bubble bath calms mind and body with fresh scents and long-lasting bubbles
• Up to 24 bubbly baths per bottle
• Dermatologist tested

I started the water, I poured in the bubbles, I smelled the heavenly scent, I was about take the point of no return.  Momentum was building.  In my mind I heard drums beating – maybe it was my heart.  Get in, get in quickly – before you change your mind (said the little devil perched on my shoulder).  I hesitated before I stepped in.  I put a toe in, I pulled a toe out, I shook it all about.  I turned around to run from the temptation.  Slowly I turned.  I put a toe in, an ankle in – then I went for it – I took the plunge.  Aaaaah!  That relaxing moment.  Life was good.  Like turning off the faucet, I had to turn off my mind as to how I was going to get out of the tub.

I relaxed.  Tension starting melting away.  The headache was going away.  Life was good.

UNTIL……

Until it was time to get out.  I starting letting the water out and started wrestling the exodus from the bathtub.  I could not stand up like normal people, because – well those that know me – you know I am not normal.  The bottom of my tub is much higher than the bathroom floor.  I threw my legs over the ledge of the tub, but my feet didn’t reach the floor.  I sat there scrunched like that a while, like someone put me in a fold-a-way bed and closed it on me.  I was trying to figure out a way of slithering out without having to put weight on my metal knee.  By now, the water was gone and I was getting cold.  My attempted exits lasted as long as my 20 minute soak.  Finally, I had to do it.  I had to put weight on one knee to get out of the tub.  Oh did that hurt.  And so did my back and neck from all the stretching and craning I was doing trying to get out of the tub.  Man oh man, I needed a good epsom salt tub soak now to relieve sore muscles.

Was it worth it?  You bet your sweet bippy.  In this hectic world we live in today, a 20-minute Avon bubble bath infused soak is a must.  Lesson learned:  Next time I bring in a thick piece of foam to kneel on for my exodus!

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